My real answer to the "How was study abroad?!" question

If I had a nickel for every time I've been asked "How was study abroad?" I'd probably have enough to cover the cost of the flight there. (Actually, I probably wouldn't but close maybe.) 

The answer to that question has become carefully scripted; a line I've memorized to get me through this last year of college, which I am now halfway through. *cue confused crying*

There's no way to tell someone who wants to hear, with a wistful eyeroll, "Ugh, amayyyzing," that study abroad was, in fact, life. Just in another country. 

Okay, so it's a little more complicated than that. Yes, studying abroad was fun and exciting and different and -- time for the ultimate cliche -- life-changing. But it was also difficult and alienating and stressful and often times not fun. Which is exactly as it should be. 

It left me with a weird guilt, however, posting pictures of stunning mountaintops and multicolored sunsets, suggesting to the world back home that life overseas was the constant stream of bright landscapes and friends smiling against a backdrop of gleaming rivers. 

It was the "Highlight Real" theory of Facebook in action. 

Here's a brief intro to the "Highlight Real," if you haven't had that drunken epiphany in one of those college party conversations:

If I post these two pictures to Facebook...

... you might think all toilets in New Zealand are cute and colorful, right? (Bear with me here.)

That's because I'm definitely not running around New Zealand taking pictures of everyday toilets or, worse, the yucky public ones which are barely standable for the length it takes to pee and wash your hands, let alone snap a picture. 

Nothing about these two pictures invites you to think that NZ toilets are just as average as those in the States. Much to his confusion, I had my friend Will take a picture of his today and send it to me just to prove it. Here you go, readers:

Also to clarify two points: toilets do not flush in the opposite direction in the Southern Hemisphere and do not all come with a cat, as this picture might suggest. 

If I haven't lost you with all of this toilet talk, let's move on. 

I was considering starting a photo series (or something) that would essentially act as an Anti-Highlight Real; a collection of photos that showed the mundane and the ugly, or at least unattractive, sides of studying abroad. I didn't commit to the project very hard, but these are two of the first photos I started with:

Above is my messy little room on one of the many rainy gray days in Christchurch. I'm a big believer in how physical environment impacts experience. When you're living in a negative setting, it affects the rest of you to your core; it's inescapable. Going from a small, centralized campus to one where I hardly ever found myself around other students was a big leap. On top of that, not having a meal plan or central place to do work kept me tied to home like a ball and chain, leaving me with a lot more alone time than I was used to. (But hey, that was my first time having my own bedroom which was pretty cool.) 

To clarify: this isn't a "studying abroad sucked" post. That would be a big fat lie. I'm incredibly lucky to have had the opportunity to go at all (shout out to the numerous family, friends, and employers who helped get me there). I certainly haven't stopped counting my blessings. 

You probably know by now that I'm not about falsely romanticizing or sugarcoating anything. As most things do, studying abroad fell in the inbetween. It was life. It was hard. It was school, but done very, very differently. 

For one, it made me really appreciate the liberal arts environment. In many ways, studying at the University of Canterbury felt like reliving freshman year in an alternate universe; I love my little school in Pennsylvania, so no wonder I had a hard time at this gigantic university where I wasn't challenged, busy, or able to pay an individual club fee for all the organizations I wanted to join. 

         

And it certainly changes things when suddenly your grade for an entire class hinges on two huge tests. If you're considering studying abroad at a traditional university basically anywhere, get ready for that. 

In many ways, I didn't have a typical study abroad experience, especially for someone in New Zealand. 

New Zealand is home to many of the world's unofficial wonders. Most people who travel there have a very set agenda of places they want to see. Just like every other traveler who's gone to NZ, I did too. 

The minute I told anyone I would be studying abroad where I was, I was immediately bombarded with a list of things I "haaaaaad to see."

     Glow worms; 

     Milford Sound; 

     Nugget Point; 

     the glaciers; 

     Cathedral Cove; 

     The Bay of Islands, 

     Hobbiton; 

     go bungy jumping; 

     sky diving; 

     heli-hiking; 

     wine tasting; 

     the lists go on (and on and on and on and on). 

I didn't see any of those things. I didn't take a tour of Hobbiton. I didn't ride horses on a beach. And, as much as I may have wanted to, I didn't strap myself to a bridge and dive off. Instead, I spent my weekends making lollycake (a classic NZ dessert) on a farm, babysitting, and going to peewee kiwi* soccer games. 

*I don't think anyone actually calls it "peewee kiwi" soccer, but they should. 

My favorite picture from my entire semester might be this one:

Me helping six-year-old Sammy blow her nose at her Saturday-morning soccer game. 

Yup, that might be the most representative picture of my study abroad experience. 

And I wouldn't have it any other way. 

I am of the firm belief that traveling is not about taking in the famous sites and monuments with your group of American friends. It's not about hopping on a bus, hopping off to take a picture, then hopping back on to the next view and the next picture. 

It's about getting down and dirty and lost in the culture. It's about risk and disorganization and sometimes food poisoning. 

Sometimes it's about trying New Zealand's hottest pizza, which you have to sign a waiver before eating agreeing that you won't sue if you die from the combination of ghost pepper sauce, habeneros, and Carolina Reapers (the world's hottest pepper). 

Sometimes it's about attending town hall meetings regarding the country's emissions trading scheme.

And doing your part to learn about the history.  

           

It's about cheering for the local teams -- even if you're still learning the rules of the game. 

It's about making mistakes. 

About disappointment. 

It's about needing some time to withdraw and relax and read a magazine over a coffee.

It's about taking some more time alone, in another coffeeshop, to drink more coffee. 

Okay, yes, if you couldn't tell, travel has a lot to do with coffee for me.

Travel is about letting handsome strangers buy you dinner. (And cut it with a leatherman.)

Travel, sometimes, is about finding a partner in crime. 

And about being at the hospital when they're in an accident.

... for four days. 

As a side note, getting injured is a really effective way to learn about another country's healthcare system. However, for those who would rather not break a limb to find out, there's also the internet.

Anyway, my point is probably clear by now: travel isn't about checking off a to-do list. My best adventures came out of not having an agenda at all. 

Of course I'm not saying don't have goals, don't research the sight worthy spots, or don't travel with others from home. I took heaps of weekend trips with fellow study abroad students. Remember these guys?

In addition to being awesome, fellow students make great travel buddies because they have just as much drive and just as little time to see as much as they can. (They also know what you're going through in a way no one else around you does.) 

The bottom line is there's no correct way to travel. If hitchhiking or playing it by ear too much makes you nervous, why put yourself through that? Stretching the limits of your comfort zone, no matter how subtly, is important and usually comes with the territory. Some of the best advice I received before leaving was "Don't go in with any expectations."

I made the mistake of thinking my time in New Zealand was going to be a breeze and a constant stream of moments like the one in the picture above. Despite being proven very wrong, and not wanting to lead others to believe it was nothing but hikes and adventures, I do have to say that, even if it wasn't one of the easiest times of my life, it was one of the most liberating. 

What are your thoughts on the social media "Highlight Real"? Do you think we should be doing something to combat it? I'd love to hear your thoughts and keep the conversation going! 

Thanks for reading and Happy New Year, everybody. I hope 2016 holds plenty of adventures for you all!

Travel: A Lesson in Humility

Hey everyone!

My flight was delayed, so I figured it'd be a good time for a blog post.

I'm sitting in the Portland International Airport, next to my last Oregon brew for a while, waiting to board a plane down to Los Angeles - my last stop before New Zealand.

I wasn't in Oregon for nearly as long as I'd have liked (I never am these days) but it was so nice stopping back home for a bit.

Even though I was working full time and had my hands full with errands to run,

being home was an amazing opportunity to recharge. I think that comes from a renewed (or let's be real here, plain new) feeling of excitement and energy for what is to come.

When people ask you if you're excited about your upcoming travel plans, the answer is yes.

(Or at least it should be because the main goal of small talk is to assure everyone of your emotional stability and keep the person you're talking to as comfortable as possible, right?)

Honestly, I hadn't been very able to get excited about New Zealand.

I was nervous, regretful, and I was kicking myself. 

I've been writing a lot of thank you notes lately.

I guess you can consider this post one big (electronic) thank you note.

I've been writing these notes because of the support from you guys with the GoFundMe. I've been writing these notes because I've been able to feel excited and, for maybe the first time, optimistic about what's about to come.

The peace of mind that's come out of the past two weeks is unbelievable, and it doesn't just come from the monetary support. (But I can't lie, it has a lot to do with that.)

What's been so overwhelming is the emotional support.

It's been the willingness of friends and strangers alike to do exactly what I was hoping would happen when publishing that last post: talk about socio-economic issues.

So thank you to everyone who has reached out after reading that last post.

Thank you to everyone who donated. 

And thank you to everyone who simply reads this blog. 

I really, really appreciate it.

(A lot of you will be seeing something like that in the mail, so that one's for everyone else who deserves a thank you note, too.)

I'm so overwhelmed and humbled by the support. 

As I frantically pack and cross my fingers as I place my main travel companion (my worn black duffel bag) on the airport scale, I'm usually overwhelmed with stress.

More and more, I'm now overwhelmed with gratitude.

I'm so grateful for the opportunities to travel, and the opportunities that foster that, like attending the school that I do. I'm grateful even for the stress and the shaking that accompany packing and checking in at the airport.

Maybe I'm rambling now, but I was taught from a young age to write my thank you notes, so here it is:

THANK YOU.

**********************************************************************************

Want another article on socio-economic class? Here ya go:

Washington Post: Teacher: I see the difference in educational privilege every day. I live it. I am disgusted by it.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/answer-sheet/wp/2015/01/29/teacher-i-see-the-difference-in-educational-privilege-every-day-i-live-it-i-am-disgusted-by-it/ 

Disclaimer: I in no way claim that I speak for any article that I post, or that any article speaks for me. My primary goal in sharing these outside sources is to provide various voices and takes on the subject. I recognize the differences between identifying as "impoverished," "poor," "underprivileged," and the many other distinctions in socio-economic  identity, and do not claim to identify as any other than what I have specified. Thanks for reading!

How a 1-night visit became a 6-day adventure

Me: I'm about to start a post about our New Year's trip!

Chris: I wouldn't be able to describe it - best of luck to you.

I didn't realize how right he'd be; I'm definitely at a loss as to where I should even begin.

I was suffering extreme jet lag returning to an empty apartment after Israel (post still to come!), and became a total hermit, making absolutely no plans. Chris called me up on the 28th just to say hello and I jokingly told him to drive two hours out of his way to come visit - and he did!

Naturally the first thing we did upon his arrival was go grocery shopping and start cooking together.

That first night we kept it simple:

"It's BYOB! Build Your Own Burritos! Get it?"

Check out the new "EAT" tab at the top of this page for cheap and simple recipes like this one!

Chris was only supposed to stay one night, so when he decided to stay a second we really celebrated (the only way he and I know how) - with Italian food!

     

We actually had a little fun that night with a cooking competition.

Above are some shots of Chris prepping his bruschetta pizza.

I stuck to what I know - onions.

Just kidding - I went with my usual tomato-based pasta sauce. 

       

The big moment: the taste test.

As per usual, I may have been a little heavy handed with the cayenne pepper...

       

Best thing about a cooking competition? Everyone wins.

I joked to Chris over dinner about him staying another couple nights to celebrate New Year's Eve in New York with me and our friend Korrinne, and when (to my very happy surprise) he said yes, we started thinking about what the three of us might enjoy doing.

I don't remember how or when D.C. was suggested, but I remember the look Chris and I exchanged after Chris told me he was willing to drive and we both realized that it was a very definite possibility.

I started calling friends from the summer to see who was around, not knowing if we'd be able to throw a trip together that fast. My friend Emilie came to the rescue and offered us her apartment, even though she'd gone home to Connecticut for the holidays.

THE DRIVE

Twelve hours later we were packed and ready to go, planning to swing through Bethlehem, PA to pick up Korrinne before driving the rest of the way down to D.C. where we were meeting another friend from school who already happened to be down there visiting his sister.

Normally to get down to D.C. from up north, most drivers take I-95, but Chris knew of an amazing highway that runs through Delaware too. If you want to make your drive a road trip, I definitely recommend opting for a more scenic route, even if it adds a little time like this one does. (The bridges and views were definitely worth the extra half an hour!)

THE (FIRST) DINNER

Because the only expenses for our trip were gas and food (some of which we brought from home), we didn't feel too bad splurging on a nicer dinner once we got into town. And besides, if you can get a last minute reservation at Founding Farmers, you take it.

Besides, there are definitely some affordable options on the menu, including their amazing $5 popcorn which is more than enough for a table of four. We even had extra to bring home for our movie after our midnight adventures on the National Mall.

The handsome guys waiting for their food at Founding Farmers.

MIDNIGHT MONUMENTS

You can't do D.C. without seeing the Mall at night. (Just be sure if you're heading down in the winter you bundle up! After spending a summer there I kept joking that I was experiencing climate shock because I'd never experienced feeling cold in D.C. before.)

 
Above: A few shots of us with the Washington Monument.
Below: In front of the National WWII Memorial.

NEW YEAR'S EVE
My friends were awesome sports as I dragged them all over the city visiting summer friends and coworkers. 

On NYE, a friend invited us to brunch at her place in the true D.C. fashion. I again experienced my main trouble with food photography: pausing long enough to get more than an iPhone pic of whatever I'm about to dive into. No photo could ever do Anna's pancakes justice anyway! 
After breakfast, Chris suggested we check out the National Cathedral which was nearby.

        

Admittance isn't necessarily cheap if you're an adult, but with a Student ID it's a very affordable $6 to explore the beautiful cathedral and gardens!

      

Above: Chris takes a moment to light a candle.

     

After exploring the Cathedral on our own, we met back up to wander the gardens together.

      

I wasn't the best at keeping my camera by my side for most of the trip, but here's a fun shot of Korrinne at our last dinner of 2014:

When District Taco, one of my summer faves, was closed, we decided to wander DuPont to see what was open. We ended up at an awesome place called BGR The Burger Joint. They completely won my heart when the guys working gave me a free vanilla milkshake!

After visiting a few friends at a hotel near Adams Morgan, we walked back and rang in the new year in the apartment together.

NEW YEAR'S DAY

Whereas Joe and I took it easy at home New Year's morning, Chris and Korrinne greeted me when I woke up by telling me they hadn't slept - the two had decided to watch sunrise on the National Mall. Here are some of the pictures they snapped at the Lincoln Memorial:

When the whole gang got together, we ventured over to the GW area to hit up Tonic for my favorite: totchos! 

I knew this group couldn't leave D.C. without experiencing Kramerbooks, one of the absolute jewels DuPont - we ended up getting lost in there for over an hour.

I'd been wanting to read this since I saw it at Kramer in the summer. Joe knew I still couldn't afford it and, being the amazing guy he is, tried to buy it for me without me noticing. I caught him holding it before he got to the register, but he still bought it for me. Started it yesterday and I'm absolutely loving it. (:

We were planning on driving home New Year's Day, but we were having too much fun so we pushed it back and spent another night before heading home. To save on money, Joe and I ran to the store and bought ingredients to make everyone dinner (my pasta again, hahah).

To Chris' delight there was no cayenne pepper in the spice cabinet this time...

    

Here's a picture of the whole gang!

 HOMEWARD BOUND

 How do you make a long drive go super quick?

 With a lot of selfies!

Maybe we didn't get to everything on my tentative To Do/See List, but these were definitely four of the best days of my life.

We had absolutely no schedule, which ended up being perfect for our travel style. 

(I'll get to the Botanic Gardens someday...)

If 2015 is as anywhere near as amazing as this trip was, then I can't wait for what's to come. 

Happy New Year, everyone!