"What do you mean we're not middle class anymore?"

Today's post might feel a little different for a few reasons (no, not only because I'm writing in a different font). Today I'm not posting pictures from another adventure or giving tips on how to cut costs while traveling. 

Today I'm not sugar-coating a very real issue that is on my mind constantly: money.

It's clear from the very theme of this blog that I'm interested in living as low-cost a lifestyle as I can. It's not merely because I like the challenge of traveling on a tight budget. It's out of necessity. 

We undergrads have all joked about the "Broke College Student" caricature that is at once forced upon us and that we love to play into in return. You know what I'm talking about, with the ramen and quarter-hoarding for laundry. (Funny that we "Broke College Students" always seem to have that extra $20 for beer at the end of the week, though.)

Anyway, today I want to look beyond the silly Broke College Student jokes. I want to look beyond even the strange paradox of the simultaneous ability and inability of most Americans to pay for higher education. ("We can't afford it, but we do it.")

I want to look at the challenge of what it means to be a student who is not a member of the middle class in a social environment that often times doesn't seem to recognize or understand that.

The challenge I'm talking about is when "Broke College Student" is not an identity that you can slip on like a coat when it's convenient or comical. 

The challenge I'm talking about is when the idea of transferring to a university where you would pay in-state tuition crosses your mind weekly. (The deal is only made sweeter when you won’t have to think about the inevitable plane tickets home anymore.)

The challenge I'm talking about is when it's time to buy that plane ticket home (2,880 miles away) for the first time in four months and you realize that it's going to cost more than what you made in two months of work.

It's when you start hoping that no one notices that the primary change your wardrobe has undergone since freshman year is that it’s looking more and more worn, because you don't spend money on new clothes.

When the idea of anyone finding out that you don’t have health insurance is one of your biggest fears.

The challenge is when you try to talk about this with your friends and in response they tell you, "People don't like it when you talk about money. Maybe you should try bringing it up less." 

The challenge is when you look around your school and don't see others panicking over plane tickets. When you don't hear conversations about money being had, and are told that it's "uncomfortable" when you try to start them. So you don't.

(Then again that's kind of the nature of the beast; it can be easy to hide. And it’s easily hidden by others who don’t want you to talk about it. I want to make it clear before I go any further that I know we all have our economic woes and that I'm sure that there other students on campus that face these issues, too. This is not a pity-post. This is an attempt to start the conversation that is missing from my campus, and probably other communities as well.)

(I'd also like to say before I continue that I am aware that I'm writing this in a time in which a lot of very important conversations are being had. In a time when we are dealing with people losing their lives at a horrifying rate based on their race, sex or gendered identity, religion, etc. I'm not saying we need to drop everything and focus solely on socio-economic class. I just think it's time that we shed the stigma and allow ourselves to be a little more open about it, rather than measuring success based on how effectively we can pass as financially stable.)

So why am I choosing now to write this post?

I'm writing this because in 24 days I'm getting on a plane set for New Zealand, where I will be studying for nearly 5 months. Further, I'm writing this post because I have enough money to last me approximately 3 weeks of my time there. (I thought I had enough for 5 weeks, but forgot to account for my visa application which was processed today, eating up about two weeks of grocery money.)

I don't know about you, but I don't know if anyone's travel tips could stretch funds like that. Maybe it's time for me to start watching TLC's "Extreme Couponing"...

How did I get myself into something that horribly unaffordable? 

Part of me wants to give an angry call to the Study Abroad office at my school for not making it clear just how much money this whole thing really costs. I could shake my finger at them for emphasizing the tuition exchange program that makes it sound like a semester overseas will cost the same thing as a semester on campus, not the realities of $2,000 plane tickets or processing fees or visa applications or programs that don't have meal plans. Not to mention exchange rates.

The study abroad office doesn't tell you about what to do - or what it feels like - when you realize that the plane ticket alone costs more than what you have in your checking and saving accounts after two and a half years of working two jobs on top of anywhere between 5 and 7 classes and 2 internships a semester.

But I suppose that's not really fair. Lately, life has offered a lot of "I should have's." I should have done more research about the program. I should have asked more questions. Should I have signed the form saying that they'll charge me $1,750 if I withdraw from the program? (Maybe not, but at that point it didn't feel like there was much of a choice.)

There are an infinite number of other "should have's" that interrupt my everyday thoughts and make it impossible to focus on anything, but at a certain point you have to silence the "should have's" with a firm, "Well you didn't," and move on.

Most often, this is where friends ask, "Can't your parents help?" and where we return to the first part of this post - about the uncomfortable moments when you realize that you're talking about things that most of your fellow students probably wouldn't understand, no matter how you explained it. The short answer is no. (Out of respect of my parents' privacy, I won't say much more than that. But the fact of the matter is, they help when and where they can, but these days I'm responsible for pretty much any and all of my day-to-day expenses.) 

I've tried virtually everything I could think of to survive this trip, starting with covering extra shifts at the two jobs I work during the school year (anyone at school can attest to the fact that I always seem to be sitting behind the Reference Desk or tutoring students in the Writing Center). I've sold flags at the Fourth of July Parade in Washington, D.C., looked into taking out more loans, posted babysitting/dogwalking signs when I'm not in a city long enough to land a real job. If it weren't 20°, I'd probably be outside with a lemonade stand. 

Months ago, friends started suggesting websites like GoFundMe. They can tell you how much I resisted signing up; if I were to ask for money, it would be one desperate, final last resort. 

Here we are.

I know this next part isn't super attractive, but I guess this is my space for being honest and speaking my mind. So here it is: this is really embarrassing. I don't really like asking for things. I don't like needing to ask for things. I guess that's the ugly, honest, raw fact of the matter; pride is something I can't really afford anymore. 

Anyway. I don't know if this is the kind of smile-y post that really goes a long with a GoFundMe account, but I wouldn't feel right sharing it without throwing in my two cents on the matter.

So here it is, folks. If you want to contribute to my Survive Study Abroad fund, this is the link:
http://www.gofundme.com/lena-schneider 

(If you'd like to know more about my actual program in New Zealand, info can be found in my bio by following the link.)

So now it's your turn. Agree? Disagree? Feel me? Let me know your thoughts! This is a subject that’s really close to home for me and I’m curious to hear your reactions.

Update, 7pm, January 20: I way prefer working for money than asking for it. If you know of opportunities for work either in Oregon in the next three weeks or that can be done remotely while I am in New Zealand, please let me know! I was just offered a position proofreading manuscripts that I was thrilled to accept, and am more than happy to discuss other ways to earn as well. Thank you for reading!

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If you’re interested in reading more about socio-economic class, here are a couple articles that I found really interesting:

Guardian readers: US middle class is ‘living from one crisis to the next’

Despite its somewhat dramatic title, I’ve found this to be a really interesting look at class in America today. Definitely worth a glance.

http://www.theguardian.com/money/us-money-blog/2014/dec/29/america-middle-class-living-one-crisis-to-nexthttp://www.theguardian.com/money/us-money-blog/2014/dec/29/america-middle-class-living-one-crisis-to-next

Why You Should Shut Up When Poor People Buy New Nikes

This is a somewhat weaker version of a really, really moving piece I found a few months ago that I’ve been scouring the internet for ever since, but it still gets the point across. It’s pretty common for people of lower classes to be scoffed at or dismissed when they make expensive purchases or have “nice things,” and I think this is something that’s pretty important to keep in mind.

http://thesocietypages.org/socimages/2015/01/02/poverty-self-denial-and-new-nikes/

(If anyone has seen another piece like this, please send it my way!)

How Expensive It Is to Be Poor

A really important read.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/19/opinion/charles-blow-how-expensive-it-is-to-be-poor.html?smprod=nytcore-iphone&smid=nytcore-iphone-share&_r=0

Students and Money, in Their Own Words

Good for a little perspective.

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2014/05/09/business/student-essays-your-money.html?ref=your-money

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One last thing! I can’t post this without recognizing how lucky I’ve been in so many aspects of my life. I’ll be the first to tell you that I had a wonderful childhood, and am still very happy despite the changes and challenges my family has undergone in the past few years. We still have so much that others have never had and are infinitely grateful for the financial aid that makes it possible for me to continue my studies without transferring. I know that going to the school that I do and having the opportunities that I’ve had, mixed with a myriad of other factors, mean that I lead a much easier life than many people could even fathom. I want to reiterate that this was not a pity post; it is my hope that this can be seen as more than just a request for assistance in a really scary time, but as a chance to open up the space for conversations that we so often avoid. So thank you for reading this, and again: if you have reactions to or questions about anything you just read, please do contact me.